saganomc

i spoke to m a couple of days ago. he asked me why i was sad. i said that i was sad because maybe he was right, about me wanting him to change. not who he is or what he stands for, but adjusting a bit. i said that i didnt know what to do cause its really not fair to him. he said no its not. he said that he didnt know what to do either. he said that we should talk about it when i get home.
the next day we spoke again. he said that he had done some thinking. and what about that house shouldn't we try to get it fixed ? and i thought that maybe that's him changing. not changing who he is or what he stands for. but adjusting a bit. and i thought that, well maybe he just wants to get laid. or maybe he wants to change a little bit too. maybe he wants us to change a little bit. the house. it's a pretty big change.
today we spoke again. he asked me if i felt better now ? and i asked is that why you said like you did yesterday ? because you wanted me to feel better? and he said no. i want you to feel better. but i said so because i mean it. i said so because i want to do it.
and now i feel a lot better. he didn't do it to get laid. he did it because he wants to. and perhaps because he loves me. yeah. i feel a whole lot better.  

and its pretty scary to write this and i dont know if i'm going to press publish because it's personal. and i dont blog about personal stuff. thats kind of why its in english. (also i like english)
maybe i'll just publish it another day. and you won't know if my publish day is my today or my another day. haha get it ? i'm still in charge